Saturday, June 22, 2013

anatomy of a prom

The moment that grade twelves wait for all year (or maybe that's just me?) has come and passed. Prom was sweet-bitter; bittersweet, but in reverse, and no less lovely for it. Here's how it all went down...(Warning: long post ahead. But at least I look gorgeous in the photos, so you have plenty of eye candy.)

2:00: wake up with last minute terrors: what if no one shows up? What if everyone else looks much better in their dress than I do?

3:30: convince self that fears are groundless and go back to sleep.

5:30: wake up. Read Georgette Heyer novel and do yoga in attempt to calm self down. This will be basically your entire day, because it doesn't quite work. (Aka: you are so stressed that you're not even hungry. This has never happened to you before, but you appreciate not needing to eat every fifteen minutes.)

2:00: buy Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuchino, because sugar + caffeine= good in every situation. (Especially when you've already been awake for almost 12 hours...)

2:30: arrive at friend's home to start getting ready.

3:30: actually start getting ready. This includes:
-redoing hair 17 times because the style that seemed so simple the first 10 times you practiced has suddenly acquired the complexity of open heart surgery
-acquiring a taste for country music
-texting other friends frantically
-worrying that makeup is too heavy and that you look clownlike

5:45: supposed time of arrival at school.

6:10: actual time of arrival at school. (Oops.) Wander around admiring everyone's dresses.

6:20: get photo taken by professional photographer and feel like model.

(too. much. glamour.) 

 6:30: be forced to put on cap and gown. Realise that the cap makes you look like you're bald, and that you now have to go up on stage wearing it in front of everyone there. (Of course this is also when your date will walk in and you will make a gorgeous first impression.)

6:40: nearly pass out or vomit from stress.

7:00: ceremony actually starts. Listen to long and boring speeches by people you don't even know.

8:00: things are perking up- you've received plenty of scholarships! (The advantages of a) being a nerd and b) going to a small school.)

8:30: realise that if you don't get out of the cap and gown soon you're going to die of excessive sweating before the fun part even starts.

9:00: ceremony finally ends. Sprint to take off your gown, then take lots and lots of photos with friends. They will all be attractive (even if you are as red as a tomato in many of them. And not just your dress. Sigh) despite the awkward school background.

(extra cupcakeness!)

(even though I'm not actually looking, I had to include this to a) show off my eye makeup and b) show off my date... aren't we cute?) 

9:10: admire corsage...

...bought by Bond Girl friends. (The ladies of mystery, dressed all in black.)

(this is honestly my favourite photo of the night. I have no idea why)

9:20: wander around (again) and try to figure out what's going on. (This is your life in a sentence.)

9:30: find the dance floor. Immediately start dancing like a maniac with friends... even if you're the only ones there. (Sad story.)

(we definitely had the most fun)

 9:45: slowdance with date. Dragons. (Like butterflies, but fire-breathing.)

9:50: continue dancing with friends. Forget to say goodbye to all your classmates as they begin to depart for the after-party. (...Whoops.)

10:20: slowdance last song with Kori. Be pleased you are not slowdancing with date because the two of you are so sweaty that it produces a bit of a Velcro attachment effect.

10:30: watch date leave. Realise that, yes, this is all actually happening, and that you won't see many of these people again, and start crying.

10:40: after a few final photos with friends, depart for McDonald's.

11:00: have mood slightly boosted by ice cream and listening in your friends' two separate conversations.

(McDonald's- where all the cool kids go on a Friday night.)

 11:40: leave McDonald's and drive friend home.

12:20: arrive at after-party.

12:22: get bored of after-party. Realise that being one of the only sober people is No Fun but have no desire to get drunk.

12:40: leave after-party with other sober friend.

1:20: arrive home. Jump on trampoline in effort to boost mood.

1:30: collapse on kitchen floor and cry so hard even your cat won't come near you.

2:00: go to bed, still teary but slightly more able to breathe.

...and there you have it: my graduation. Minus the hysterical sobbing (and the never-ending speeches), I enjoyed myself. (And if you really read every word of this, major brownie points to you- not quite enough yet for a home-baked pan, but close.) 


  1. Oooh! Looks like fun! Congrats on graduating! I love your dress by the way, props for the super cool hat/fascinator {That's how you spell that... Right? Lol} you were wearin'! o-~


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